Monday, Bloody Monday

So on Monday I had my once-every-three-years annual physical. Apparently, according to my doc, strong-like-bull specimens like myself don't actually need one every year, at least not at this point, until the dreaded prostate exam kicks in in a few years. So hurray for me.

I knew they were going to do a cholesterol test, along with the standard array of STD blood tests that occasionally sexually active kids like me get (hey, who knows where my hand has been?) I decided to just fast until the checkup, rather than go back another morning for it. Holy crap; I sort of remember how much I disliked not eating for Yom Kippur when I was younger. This was horrible. The appointment was at 1:30, and by about noon my body was sending out S.O.S. messages in the form of stomach grumbles that were undoubtedly being picked up by the seismologists down in Boulder.

The physical itself was fine. I am the picture of good health. The doc told me that they wouldn't be calling me with my blood test results unless anything bad came up. So, when I got a message the next day telling me to call back, my blood test results were back, that put me in a tailspin of fear and doubt the likes of which I rarely experience. I won't go into the details, but given that I have a family history of diabetes, some heart disease, and a fetish for 9-year-old Panamanian boys (joke! that's a joke! I don't really!), who knew what the worst could be?

So when I finally got on the phone with someone, my heart was racing as I found out that...

My cholesterol is 10 points lower than it was 3 years ago.

Now, I understand that it's still 194, which isn't great for someone my age. But I eat well, and I exercise plenty, and I don't have any of the other risk factors for heart disease (blood pressure is 110/70, rest pulse is 52, etc.), and I am kind of assuming that it's a genetic thing and eventually they'll just put me on the statins and I'll be fine. Was it really worth an hour of terror, which undoubtedly took a few months off my life, for that?