Second, wait until you have to buy an engagement ring and see how long this arguement [sic] lasts. The girl may even agree with you, but she will still probably want a diamond engagement ring.I find this line of thought both a little depressing and a little insulting. It's depressing, because of course in a lot of ways he is right. As young people, we get caught up in all sorts of crusades, and make all manner of promises about how we are going to fix things and change the world. Most of us, when it comes time for rubber to hit the road, mostly just get up the next morning and go to work like always. Even those who do their best are very rarely especially successful (this is actually something they discuss in Blood Diamond; DiCaprio's character is particularly cynical about the effect of Western sympathies in Africa.)
This is why I don't make it my goal to change the world, but instead to live in it the best way I know how. Maybe, if I can show a couple people that whatever I'm doing works well for me, I can convince them to try something new and see how it works for them, and help a few more people live better in the world as well. If they do the same, then maybe, someday, there's a chance that some real change will have been effected. That's a large reason I write here; I'm not going to Change The World, but I might change some minds, and that's a good start.
I find Michael's line of argument a bit insulting, because I also really think it calls my integrity into question a bit. Of course I cannot make any rock-solid promises, because any promise that I make that involves a party other than myself is something I am pretty much pulling out of my ass, and I'm writing a check the future me may not care to cash. But I like to think that any woman I choose to marry will be similar enough to me in outlook and attitude that she would have the same opinion towards diamonds that I do, given access to similar information. At the very least, I would hope that anyone I would even consider marrying would be able to understand when something is really important to me, and would never value a lump of carbon more than a sincerely held opinion of mine.
And, at the very very least, I believe it really calls my integrity into question to say tha, given the opportunity to 1) pass on getting married or 2) betray my principles, and spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't value my principles, I would ever choose #2.
Now of course I know Michael, and love him to death. I'll be spending 6 days with him in Hawaii in just a week's time. But I honestly think that one of those little steps towards living a little better in the world is not being quite so glib about such serious topics. I try (don't always succeed, but try) not to make grand, sweeping generalizations like 'I will never buy such and such' unless I really mean it. I like to think there's a little lesson there.
2 comments:
I, being female, am insulted that Michael assumes females to be so materialistic. I would never accept a diamond for any reason, nor would any of my female friends. Of all the wedding parties I've been a part of, the happy couple exchanged diamond-free rings and continue with that trend years into their marriages. While I agree that many people ignore thier better nature for materialistic urges, there are still an awful lot of people out there who strive to push our civilization forward, one decision at a time. Have faith, Michael.
I have faith in a great many things, none of which involve a man's ability (even Dave's ability) to have integrity when faced with feminine wiles.
There are certain morale deal breakers that people have. For some its smoking, others its eating meat, owning a gun, or having killed someone in a foreign country.
Had he escaped from South Africa using diamonds he smuggled out of a mine he was forced to work in since he was 5, and now hated anything to do with diamonds, I could see it.
Its one thing to think or say "The world would be better if" and its another to really stick to it when the time comes to make a sacrifice.
He may really believe it, but, in the future, if he met his dream girl, all 6'4" inches of her volleyball playing wonderfulness, and the only thing wrong with her was that she wanted a diamond, I'd bet she'd get one.
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